i wish i had more time to write. i think tomorrow, after i babysit, i'm going to find my favorite spot at starbucks, order a drink in a CERAMIC MUG, and just write. i feel like my head is cluttered with so much of my thoughts. i felt compelled today in church to start journaling again. i haven't journaled in quite sometime. blogging is different to me. i am writing with SOME intention of a reader. let's be honest. our words are tainted, even if by the slightest. journaling between me and Jesus is probably some of the ugliest things anyone could see or read. i'd rather be painfully honest with the Lord, because sometimes, even my prayers are through a clouded window. i don't want anything between the Father and myself. the stripping has begun. like pulling a bandaid off, it is starting to hurt. but i truthfully hear and believe the Lord saying, "this is the path. now walk in it."

it is funny when we follow the path that the Lord has for us, there is nothing that stands in between. it is clear. there is nothing that gets in my way when i go the way he has told me. i mean, there are temptations, etc. but there is no closing of doors. does that make sense... ? see. there is so much going on. i am reading such wonderful books and chapters of the OT lately. i love it. but it's like, i don't have time to write all this down. the Lord is giving me opportunity to sing about his love over people. it's beautiful.

yet, all this is nothing, in comparison to knowing him. man. i need that as a constant reminder.