I will not forget your promises.

what a definite thing to say to God.

"i will not forget your promises."

there is so much i feel like i need to be aware of, and awakened to. it's crazy. there is so much to our heavenly father. so much about him that i do not know, and the many different ways i learn about him through the human mind. through my thoughts. through reading his word. it's amazing.

"you keep no record of my sin. you don't remember all my shame."

oh, that that grace would be awakened in me. to understand that my past is my past.

God, that you would grant me an ounce of that grace with my relationships, on a horizontal level.

"God is urging me to come home, to enter into his light, and to discover there that, in God, all people are uniquely and completely loved. In the light of God I can finally see my neighbor as my brother, as the one who belongs as much to God as I do. But outside of God's house, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, lovers and friends become rivals and even enemies; each perpetually plagued by jealousies, suspicions, and resentments." - Henri Nouwen, the return of the prodigal son.

this burns in me as of late. nouwen is not scripture and not even inspired by the holy spirit. he is a man, just like anyone else. they are his thoughts; though rooted deep in scripture, they are NOT scripture. but, if what he alludes to is true. i have been living outside of the house of God for some time. well, not for always. i think, in this illustration, i hang outside the house a lot. you know... ? i'll come in when i need to, and when i think that i've got it (i don't know that we will ever reach a place of "getting it") i leave. and continue this vicious cycle of whatever it is that you wanna call it.

dear God. i was not meant to live outside of this home. make your home in me, yes. but God, keep me with you. i don't even want to stray close to you. i want to be with you. walk and do what you do. be a person of few words so that what i do say, God, may it be from you.

"i know i can trust in your love."