There is so much to be aware of in our lives.

The things we take for granted. The things we don't take for granted. People we take for granted. God, whom we take for granted. All these things that we take for granted.

I don't want to take things for granted anymore. I don't want to build my paradigms around objects that are bound to change and shift, therefore changing my own paradigms and emotions, feelings, etc. We successfully build attachments in our lives that we psych ourselves into believing that we cannot live without. Attachments that we were never created to be attached to. Once attached, we then just build... and continue to build. Until they become our god. Seriously. Think of something in your life that you are attached to. Probably isn't God. Knowledge ABOUT God and our actual Savior are two different things.

I don't know that I want to live in a state of: what would my life feel like without God, because in reality, there are PEOPLE in my life that I think about like that... and I get really sad. I don't think I think about God like that, but in some weird sense, I want to have that fear (reverence, kinda) of... God, where are you today and how can I find you?

I am so human. A reoccuring theme in my life as of lately. I am so human. It hurts to truly examine who I am; total depravity, if you will. Which is why I am truly nothing without God; and whatever good is in me, is due Him. I was reading Hosea tonight and how God spoke about Israel really stirred my heart; how they ran after unrighteousness and became just like the very thing that they loved. What they loved was not good; quite the opposite. How often do I run after anything but God, and somehow, whatever malicious or human-like quality that comes along with it, I pine after.

Attachments come, and they go. And when they leave, they leave us with feelings of loss because we have built so much around them. God, however, doesn't come and go. In fact, the true voice of the Father, when they see their child run and do their own thing, a good father will carry the attitude and assurance that their child will return. The opposite is... well, the opposite. Hopes that they won't return, and shake their fist.

Really just want to listen to the voice of the Father. He knows our hearts, our deepest fears; yet through His love, all these things rest in His hands.